I will get to the workout in a minute, but first I'm going to lay a lot of stuff on the line. I am really excited about seeing and spending quite a bit of time with my family and getting my hand surgery so they don't hurt anymore. The problem is that I have been really stressed out trying to get everything ready for me to leave. My job is stressful on a good day but trying to get things manageable for my coworkers once I'm gone has been crazy. I have been working over most days and on holidays. I've also been working every weekend at my second job (and when I get off there I usually head to my full time job for at least two hours). There are a lot of little details that I have been trying to get done too. (like getting my mail forwarded, the dogs food ordered and ready, lab work for my surgery, etc.) I have been in sort of a funk for a few days just because of stress. I have also been really stressed about leaving Crossfit for so long. I am worried I will fall back into bad habits and won't be motivated to workout like I should. But, what topped my stress level off today was a call from my doctors office. I had gone in to get my labwork for my surgery done last week, so when they called me today I was pretty sure there was some sort of problem. Everything was fine except for my liver enzymes. I have had a fatty liver for as long as I can remember so elevated enzymes is normal but these were higher than my normal high. This has nothing to do with drinking alcohol. It is something that runs in my family. When the nurse told me the news it just took my mind back to a place I was in about six years ago when my uncle died. (long story short he had a fatty liver that eventually caused him to have a transplant and then got lymphoma after five years of taking anti rejection meds.) Anyway it just brought me back to a place of knowing there are some things I just can't control no matter what I do! Needless to say it did not help the mood I have been in. I am in a much better place than I was in six years ago and am a much stronger person (spiritually, mentally, and physically) but it still kind of hurts when you hear news like that. Some people might have seen my Facebook post tonight about not knowing if I was going to go to workout. I was just really frustrated and really stressed and REALLY didn't want to cry in another workout!
I ended up going to Crossfit tonight even though I really didn't know how I was going to do. (thank you all for your encouragement on my post.) The strength part of the WOD was 7 rounds of 1 power snatch and 1 overhead squat. I started with just a 15# bar and eventually worked my way up to 65#. The WOD was five rounds of 400m row and 15 overhead squats for time. Travis told me just to do the 15# bar for the squats because of my knees. I was just happy to be able do a real squat! My knee did start to hurt towards the end of each set of 15 but after each row it was ok until the end of the next 15. I was on round three and Travis walked by and told me he was proud of me. It meant a lot at that point because I really went into the WOD thinking that I wasn't going to do that well. That gave me the push to be able to finish the last 2 rounds. I ended up finishing in 15:39. Even though I only lifted 15# in the squats I was just happy I finished the workout without having to modify anything for my knee (and I didn't cry)! I'm glad I went tonight. It was definitely the right choice!
If you didn't think I was laying it all on the line before tonight I hope you now realize I put myself completely out there for everyone to read. I think it is important for me to be able to look back and see how my performance was even if I had a hard day.
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