Filthy Fifty

Tonight was an interesting night for me. I read the WOD last night and knew it was going to be hard but I wasn't scared of it. Then, right before we started tonight, something clicked in my head that told me there was no way I was going to be able to do this WOD. I psyched myself out before we even started and I had to go to the bathroom because I could feel the tears in my eyes. I even told Chad that I might quit during the workout. Tonight's WOD was called Filthy Fifty. We had to do 50 box jumps, jumping pull-ups, kettle bell swings (35#), walking lunges, knees to elbow, push press (35#), wall balls, supermans, burpees (I did push-ups), and double unders (150 singles). Yes that is fifty of each thing except for the single jump ropes. The thing that freaked me out the most were the box jumps, and they were first!  I've never done any box jump!  I've only done step ups and the thought of having to jump even on the 12 inch box freaked me out. I told Chad that there was no way I could do it and I did step ups. Even though I just did step ups the damage was already done mentally for the entire WOD. I finished the step ups, got through the jumping pull-ups, and went to do kettle bell swings. I just stood there and looked at the kettle bell thinking that there wasn't any way that I could do 50 of those!  Travis walked up to me with the chalk bucket. I told him I didn't need it because I couldn't do it. He was really nice and said to just take deep breaths and pick up the kettle bell and that chalk would help. Chad and Travis knew that I had mentally checked out of the workout tonight, but they knew that I could get through it. I got some chalk and picked up the kettle bell. It took a while but i DID get through all 50 of them. The walking lunges and knees to elbow weren't too terrible. I got through the push press faster than anything else but I knew harder parts were at the end of the WOD. I used a 14# med ball and did squat presses instead of wall balls. If Katherine and Carna wouldn't have been there I wouldn't have gotten through this part or supermans and push ups. They sat there and helped me count down these parts and wouldn't let me stop. During the squat presses I could feel the tears in my eyes again so I just shut my eyes and took deep breaths as Carna and Katherine counted them down for me. When I finally got done with all of these things I knew it still wasn't over because somehow I was supposed to do 150 single jump ropes!  This is another thing that I have NEVER done in a workout, and I quit last week when they were in the warmup. Chad wouldn't let me quit. I finally told him that I was only at 69. His answer was that I didn't even think I could do that many and I was basically half way done!  Rachel and Chad helped me count down the last ones. When it was over Chad told me that he wasn't going to let me quit and that they have faith in me so I should too. I went in the bathroom and wiped the tears and sweat off my face and started to leave. Katherine caught me and told me I did a good job. We talked about how some days are just off days and you feel defeated and want to cry, but you finish the WOD and come back the next day ready to do better. At this point there were several people that had walked out and we started talking. Travis walked out and I told him I was defeated before I even started the WOD because of the box jumps and jump rope. He said that I would start doing 10 box jumps every day to get used to it.  Some of the people standing there even said that they would do 10 burpees if I did the box jumps each night!  I told them that mentally I just couldn't do it.  When I said that "Little Mama" (one of the women that was in our class tonight) and Rachel took me back inside and said I was going to do a box jump tonight!  I was pretty sure they were crazy because there was no way I was even thinking about doing one more thing after that workout!  We went back inside and set up the 12 inch box in between two poles and they told me to hold onto the poles for balance and jump. It took me a few seconds but I finally jumped!  Once I did it that one time Travis told me to keep going. Then he told me to do it with one hand and then no hands for balance! I hesitated on doing it with no hands, so Travis came over and held my hand and with each jump he would let go more until he had completely let go!  Then I did about five with no hands!!  I am so blessed to workout with people who actually care about my achievements and won't let me quit!!
So tonight was all over the place mentally and physically but I will be back at it tomorrow.