My Second Filthy Fifty

Today was different than the first time I saw Filthy Fifty as the WOD on the website. Last time I wasn't scared until right before we started the workout. Today it was a mental battle all day to even decide if I wanted to try it again. The first time was only a month ago and pretty fresh on my mind. I could feel the anxiety that I felt that night right before the WOD and the feeling of defeat when I had mentally checked out. I went straight to the box after work because I knew if I went home I wouldn't go tonight. The night started off frustrating to me because I was WAY behind everyone in the warmup when we ran 800m. I'm usually the last runner in but everyone was already setting up for the WOD when I got in. I partnered up with Kesha and we set up our station. Someone had already gotten the jump rope I like to use so I wasn't sure what was going to happen there. Travis said I could just row because I was struggling with this weighted jump rope I was trying to use. I told him that there was nothing wrong with my knees and I would just have to figure it out. Luckily one of the other girls had left her jump rope sitting near me so I ended up using it. I was very frustrated with myself though because I should be able to just adapt. It took me a long while to finish those stupid jump ropes but I was so glad when that part was over. The burpees came next. Last time I just did push-ups because I had just gotten back from surgery but this time I actually did burpees. I still can't really jump down to the push-up because my hands do still hurt some. It was more like a crawl up and down, but it was more than a regular push-up. I actually did wall balls this time too. I only used a ten pound ball but I did do them. Last time I used a 35# bar for the push presses but this time I used a 45# bar. Knees to elbows, jumping pull-ups, kettle bell swings, supermans, and walking lunges were all pretty much the same as last time. We did the WOD in reverse tonight so the box jumps came last. I wasn't nearly as nervous about them tonight as I was before because I have been working on them. I am still a little unsure about the 16 inch because I'm afraid of falling so I put a 45# plate on my 12 inch box, which makes it something like 15 inches. It did seem really high at the end of this workout because my legs were so tired but I really wanted to do it. I think Travis saw me hesitating and he told Carna to have me take the plate off and just make it 12 inches. I think both Carna and Travis were surprised when I told them NO. In my mind I had come this far in this WOD that I was NOT compromising at the end!  I knew that if I took that plate off it would be easier but that I would have been mad at myself later. They wrote my time up on the board but I honestly couldn't tell you what it was, and I didn't care. I finished and I did more than I did the first time, and that was ALL that mattered to me. I am so glad that I didn't WOD dodge today!!