Night of redemption

Last night before I left Crossfit I told Travis that I was sorry. He said there was no need to be sorry because tomorrow was for redemption. He was right because tonight I was a lot more mentally focused than I was last night. I got to the box early so I could do my 10 box jumps. I did the first 10 but Travis didn't see them, so I did another 10 (and I didn't fall once)!  When it was time for my class we started out by doing 5 rounds of 5 back squats at 85% of our 1RM. Before I left my 1RM was 230# but I wasn't sure that I could base it off of that because I haven't really been working on back squats very much since I got back. I worked my way up to 185# which was around 85% of 215#. I didn't do all five rounds because I did so many warm ups getting to that weight that I ran out of time. But, I did get in 3 rounds of 5 at 185#. The next part of the WOD was 5, 400m runs (or some people did 5 rounds of 500m rows). I just assumed that I was going to row because the runs were supposed to be sprints and I don't really sprint anywhere!  When I was getting out the rower Travis asked me how my knees were and I told him they were fine. He said I was running then!  I told him I would run but that I wasn't fast. He didn't care and said the only way I was going to get faster was to actually run, so I did. My class is pretty amazing.  We all ran the 400's and of course I was pretty much last every time but they waited and let me rest before we would start the next 400m. I did walk a few times, but I ran most of the time!  I'm glad Travis didn't tell me I was running until right before we started because I would have probably psyched myself out like I did last night!  I am still in a little bit of awe that I actually ran that much and didn't die!  After we got done with the run we all stayed and did the skill which was 8 rounds of sit-ups for 20 seconds and planks for 10. What a night!!

Filthy Fifty

Tonight was an interesting night for me. I read the WOD last night and knew it was going to be hard but I wasn't scared of it. Then, right before we started tonight, something clicked in my head that told me there was no way I was going to be able to do this WOD. I psyched myself out before we even started and I had to go to the bathroom because I could feel the tears in my eyes. I even told Chad that I might quit during the workout. Tonight's WOD was called Filthy Fifty. We had to do 50 box jumps, jumping pull-ups, kettle bell swings (35#), walking lunges, knees to elbow, push press (35#), wall balls, supermans, burpees (I did push-ups), and double unders (150 singles). Yes that is fifty of each thing except for the single jump ropes. The thing that freaked me out the most were the box jumps, and they were first!  I've never done any box jump!  I've only done step ups and the thought of having to jump even on the 12 inch box freaked me out. I told Chad that there was no way I could do it and I did step ups. Even though I just did step ups the damage was already done mentally for the entire WOD. I finished the step ups, got through the jumping pull-ups, and went to do kettle bell swings. I just stood there and looked at the kettle bell thinking that there wasn't any way that I could do 50 of those!  Travis walked up to me with the chalk bucket. I told him I didn't need it because I couldn't do it. He was really nice and said to just take deep breaths and pick up the kettle bell and that chalk would help. Chad and Travis knew that I had mentally checked out of the workout tonight, but they knew that I could get through it. I got some chalk and picked up the kettle bell. It took a while but i DID get through all 50 of them. The walking lunges and knees to elbow weren't too terrible. I got through the push press faster than anything else but I knew harder parts were at the end of the WOD. I used a 14# med ball and did squat presses instead of wall balls. If Katherine and Carna wouldn't have been there I wouldn't have gotten through this part or supermans and push ups. They sat there and helped me count down these parts and wouldn't let me stop. During the squat presses I could feel the tears in my eyes again so I just shut my eyes and took deep breaths as Carna and Katherine counted them down for me. When I finally got done with all of these things I knew it still wasn't over because somehow I was supposed to do 150 single jump ropes!  This is another thing that I have NEVER done in a workout, and I quit last week when they were in the warmup. Chad wouldn't let me quit. I finally told him that I was only at 69. His answer was that I didn't even think I could do that many and I was basically half way done!  Rachel and Chad helped me count down the last ones. When it was over Chad told me that he wasn't going to let me quit and that they have faith in me so I should too. I went in the bathroom and wiped the tears and sweat off my face and started to leave. Katherine caught me and told me I did a good job. We talked about how some days are just off days and you feel defeated and want to cry, but you finish the WOD and come back the next day ready to do better. At this point there were several people that had walked out and we started talking. Travis walked out and I told him I was defeated before I even started the WOD because of the box jumps and jump rope. He said that I would start doing 10 box jumps every day to get used to it.  Some of the people standing there even said that they would do 10 burpees if I did the box jumps each night!  I told them that mentally I just couldn't do it.  When I said that "Little Mama" (one of the women that was in our class tonight) and Rachel took me back inside and said I was going to do a box jump tonight!  I was pretty sure they were crazy because there was no way I was even thinking about doing one more thing after that workout!  We went back inside and set up the 12 inch box in between two poles and they told me to hold onto the poles for balance and jump. It took me a few seconds but I finally jumped!  Once I did it that one time Travis told me to keep going. Then he told me to do it with one hand and then no hands for balance! I hesitated on doing it with no hands, so Travis came over and held my hand and with each jump he would let go more until he had completely let go!  Then I did about five with no hands!!  I am so blessed to workout with people who actually care about my achievements and won't let me quit!!
So tonight was all over the place mentally and physically but I will be back at it tomorrow.

Mentally and physically hard night!

Tonight was a tough one!! The WOD was a 2000m row, 150 air squats, and 30 hang cleans for time. I wasn't too concerned about the row. I knew it would be long but it would be the easier part of the WOD. I got done with row in about 10 minutes. That isn't a great time but I didn't sprint through it. The 150 air squats were much more challenging than I had anticipated. I guess my legs were tired from the row, because the squats seemed to take me forever to get through. The part that I was really worried about was the hang clean part. I was doing 85# and it seemed impossible!  I really did want to quit when I had 26 left and I didn't think I could lift the bar one more time. I got down to 15 and everyone was finished!  I was really down on myself at that point. I was just standing there looking at the bar like it was going to magically lift itself up!  I'm lucky that I workout with some amazing people and have awesome coaches!  Chad and Travis were there the entire 30 hang cleans telling me that I could lift it and that they wouldn't push me to do it if they didn't know I could. Allison is the best cheerleader and helped me count down the last 15. Even when I told her I didn't think I could do anymore she was there telling me I could. When everyone finished with their WOD they cheered me on until I was done (even though it was after we should have already left). I did finish the entire thing in around 30 minutes. I'm not sure of the exact time because I just kind of threw the bar down after the last hang clean. It is very frustrating to me to have to build back up some of my strength. Before my surgery 85# wouldn't have been nearly as hard as it was tonight. I just have to keep telling myself to be patient, and that is NOT an easy thing for me to do!  Although it did take me longer than everyone else tonight and I struggled through the WOD I was very satisfied when I was finished!  I have to focus on the accomplishment!!
This is a side note but is something that really made me think tonight. One of the guys told me how good I looked and he could really tell that I had lost quite a bit of weight. I told him I was starting another 24 Day Challenge on February 1st. He stopped me right there and said he wasn't downplaying the things I was doing like the Challenge and the Paleo diet but that I needed to take more credit for how far I've come. It really did touch me because it is true. I'm not really good at saying I've done this because I just haven't been comfortable with it. Just like when someone compliments me I don't really know what to say. It made me think though because I am the one that makes myself go to workout everyday, even when I know it is going to be really hard, and I'm the one that has to choose everything I put in my body. I think that some of it comes from the fact that I have tried SO many things in the past and NEVER succeeded.  The fact that I can do this is just a weird concept for me to grasp.

Gymnastics and a new PR on my clean

Yesterday was my birthday and I really couldn't think of anything I would have rather done!  I spent the first part of the day being lazy, but I went to Crossfit early where I could get in a little extra workout. I did the warmup with the earlier class. The warmup was 4, 200m sprint rows for time with stretches in between each row. All of my times were 52 seconds and lower. When the class started the WOD I did 3 extra 200m sprint rows. Then I waited and did the whole thing over again plus the WOD with my regular class. So I rowed 2200m yesterday!  The WOD was mostly gymnastics skills. We did 7 rounds of L sits on the parallels, handstand push ups, 21 unbroken kettle bell swings, and ring dips. It was to get as many reps that you could in each thing so it wasn't timed. I started out by sitting on the box and holding my legs up for as long as I could instead of L sits, but by the end I was trying to actually do it on the parallels.  I couldn't hold it for long, but I did it!!  I did wall push-ups instead of handstand push-ups. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to do all of the kettle bell swings, but I made it through six rounds with the 35# weight!  I did the ring dips with a blue band. I only had one knee in the band because I had one foot down so I didn't put too much pressure on my hands. I pushed myself pretty hard yesterday, but it was completely worth it!  I wanted to start my 32nd year off right, and I don't think I could have done anything better than getting an extra workout in and pushing myself to do things I really never thought I would ever be able to do (like holding myself up on the parallels...even if it wasn't for very long).
I looked st WOD for today, and I wasn't too excited. It was cleans and running (2 things that I struggle with). I also knew that I was going to probably be limited to what weight I could do on the clean, and I wasn't really looking forward to another day of just lifting 45 and 55 pounds. I started doing the warmup, which had jump roping in it, and started my normal jumping up and down. Travis saw me and told me to get a jump rope. I really didn't want to because I really can't jump rope. I'm not coordinated enough to do it. We were supposed to do 30 double unders or 90 singles. I did maybe 5 singles and quit. I don't think I have really ever just quit doing something at Crossfit because I didn't think I could do it until today. I have had to stop doing some things because of injuries, but not just because my mind won't let me do it. Today was the first time for that and I was really mad at myself for many reasons. I could feel my frustration building. I finished the rest of the warmup, but not with the best attitude about what we were doing. We got to the WOD and I asked Chad what I could start out with on the bar. He said to do 45# and I would determine how much weight I lifted from there!! What?!  I was really excited when I heard this, because, even though I struggle with cleans, I couldn't wait to see what I could actually lift!!  I ended up starting out with 55# and worked all the way up to 115#!!!  That was a PR for me tonight! Before surgery I couldn't do more than 100#, and almost hurt myself doing 105#. Tonight 115# felt great!!  After this excitement I came back to reality and realized we still had to run. Everyone else ran 1 mile, rested for 5 minutes, and ran another mile. I ran 800m both times instead of the mile, because I'm pretty sure no one would have wanted to wait on me to finish two miles. Even though I only ran 800m I still wasn't very excited, but I finish both in around 5 minutes a piece and ran almost the entire way!  I was pretty happy!  After we got done I told Travis that I quit on the jump ropes (he knew), but all he said was that I need to work on them every day that I come in and I will get it. He couldn't believe it when I told him I got a PR in cleans tonight!! I could hardly believe it myself because it has only been a little over 5 weeks since I had surgery and I've only been back to the box for a week and a half!!  This was a good day that I never saw coming!!  I am so blessed!

Good start to the week

I went to workout on Saturday. I rarely get to do Saturday WOD's because I'm usually working my second job at that time. I was excited to get an extra workout in before I do start back working on Saturdays. We were just doing the second part of the warmup and were doing short sprints. I got two steps into the sprint and could feel that something was off with my steps. It kind of felt like slow motion because I knew I was going to fall. I skinned up my elbow and right hand a little bit. I got bandaged up (because I was bleeding) and finished the rest of the WOD. I have never fallen during a workout!  I don't know why I decided that outside on the concrete and after my hand surgery was the best place and time to take my first dive. My hands hurt for most if the weekend and I just kept taking Motrin and icing them. By today they were a little sore but most of the swelling had gone down.
Today was actually a good day for me because I could do most of the workout. There is a way that you can do front squats where you really don't have to put any pressure on your hands. Although everyone else was working to get their 1RM in front squats I was just working on building up some strength. I ended up doing 105# several times, so that wasn't too bad. I did do some push presses but I modified my grip where I wasn't putting too much pressure on my wrists. I did 3 rounds of 10 with 55#. That might sound like a lot to some people since I am still not 100% with my hands, but that is only about half of what I could do before the surgery (so I was fine). The WOD was 5 rounds of 200m run (I rowed) and 30 wall balls (I basically just did thrusters with the 14# med ball because the pressure of the ball falling on my hands would have been too much). It was a really tough workout but it was so satisfying!  I finished in 15:02 and was pretty happy with that time!  This was a good way to start the week, and now I'm ready for tomorrow :)

First week back was tough

I haven't posted for the past couple of days because I have been really frustrated with myself. I've basically been coming home, icing my hands, and taking Motrin every night. My hands have been really tired from typing at work and the LITTLE I have done with them at the box. I did do a few lifts on Wednesday but nothing very heavy. It was basically just light weight where I could at least practice my form. Last night was the really frustrating night because my left hand hurt before I even got to Crossfit. I couldn't do any lifting (actually Travis threatened to make two of my friends do burpees if I picked the bar back up)!  I did do the WOD though. It was a 15 minute AMRAP of 21 step ups (while holding a 25# plate), 15 box jumps (I did sit ups), and 9 toes to bar (I did knees to bar on the rings). I started out with the 25# plate on step ups but by the second round I went down to 15#. I'm not really sure how I did the step ups at all, because my legs were killing me from earlier this week. I could feel them trembling as I stepped up the first few times. By the end of the 15 minutes I was just holding the weight with my right hand during the step ups because my left was hurting so bad. Doing the knees to bar on the rings wasn't too bad on my hands because there is more give to how your hands can move with the rings compared to the bar. I got 4 and 2/3 rounds done in the 15 minutes, so I wasn't too upset with that!  It's just frustrating because my favorite thing to do is lift during the workouts and I can't do very much of that right now. I am not a very patient person so I have been very resistant to everyone telling me to take it slow. Although I struggle with taking it slow and listening to my body when it is in real pain I am going to try and look towards what I will be able to do in a month from now if I allow myself to completely heal. (This is much easier said than done though!)

Barbara is a killer!!

It's so good to be back at Crossfit, but my legs hurt so bad it is hard to even sit down!!  It is good pain though because it means I am just getting stronger!  Tonight was a hard workout!  Allison and I did a modified "Barbara" WOD because we are both injured, but even the modified WOD was hard. It was 5 rounds of 10 body rows, 20 wall push ups, 30 sit ups, and 40 squats for time. By the second round of squats I couldn't even feel my legs. I'm not sure how I made it through the WOD!  We had a 3 minute rest between each round (but it felt like 30 seconds after the second round) so I just kept telling myself if I can make it through these sit ups and squats I can rest. I ended finishing in a little over 19 minutes. It was really good to have Allison there to workout with me. She is such a good cheerleader and that is definitely what I needed tonight!  My legs and abs hurt from the last two days but I'll be back at it tomorrow!
This is just a side note but last night I weighed myself because several people had told me that I looked like I had lost more weight since I had been out. I couldn't believe it when I looked at the scale!  I have officially lost 50 pounds since September!  I am so glad I started Crossfit, have stayed on the paleo diet, and did the 24 Day Challenge!  I will do another challenge starting February 1 and I can't wait to see what my results will be from that!  And, I have paleo chicken tomato soup in the crockpot right now!  These are some of the best decisions I have ever made for myself!

First day back!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I had surgery on my hands in Texas and spent some really good time with my family (probably the most time I've spent with them in about 10 years and it felt great). I want to thank everyone for all of your cards, texts, thoughts, and prayers. It really does mean so much to me to know that I have such a great support system. I had surgery on December 14 and was supposed to be out for at least 6 to 8 weeks for recovery. Today I went back to work (I'm only doing half days for the next 3 weeks) and was able to go back for my first workout at Crossfit!  The doctor was amazed how well I recovered from the surgery. I was able to start working out only four weeks after having bilateral carpal tunnel surgery (which is pretty freaking awesome)!  I'm pretty sure it was because I really am in the best shape if my life, I stuck to my paleo diet, and I took my Advocare vitamins. I can't believe how well I recovered either!
Tonight was my first day back at the box.  I'm not going to lie, I was pretty nervous about going back after being gone for 5 weeks!  I walked into the box and was overwhelmed by the love that I was shown as I walked through the door. Everyone clapped, gave me a hug, and said how glad they were that I was back!  This is why I love Crossfit2l2q!  We are a family and everyone notices when someone is gone!  You won't find that just anywhere!  We started the warmup with a 400m run. This is the part I get nervous about because I am not a good runner anyway, much less being out for 5 weeks. I was pleasantly surprised with myself because I ran the whole 400m without walking once!!  We got back in and I did air squats and wall push ups (this was modified from what everyone else did because I still can't put too much pressure on my hands). Then we had 12 minutes to get our 1RM in back squats. This is where I got a little frustrated because this is one if my favorite things to do and I can't put too much weight on my wrists. I ended up doing 55# the entire time (which is no where near my 1RM of 230#). I would have probably put more weight on but I'm lucky that I have people at the box that really do have my best interest at heart. There were several guys that made sure I didn't add anymore weight to the bar. I know they were right but I am super impatient and wanted to see if I could do more. Then we had 12 more minutes to find our 1RM in presses. I did a couple of rounds with 55# (which was easy) until Clinton noticed that I had weight on the bar and promptly took it off. I finished the 12 minutes doing the 35# bar. Again, I know he was right but I am impatient!  After the strength part of the WOD we started the regular workout. I did 300 single jump rope (well I did my virtual jump roping because I still can't do the real thing yet--but I will be working on that Friday), 25  wall ball squats with a 14# med ball ( I just did the squat and press with the ball instead of throwing it up against the wall), 225 jump rope, 25 wall ball, 150 jump rope, and another 25 wall balls. I didn't do too bad on the workout. I was really happy with how I did today and I feel great!  I'm so glad to be back at the box. I have missed everyone so much!